I walked into a Weight Watchers (now WW) group meeting many years ago even though I didn't think the program would work for me. I'd done it before with minimal success.

In the end, I was right, but at some point, I realized I wasn't staying for the program or any hope for long-lasting weight loss but for the group leader and her weekly talks.

Gloria was a Weight Watchers success story. She'd been working for the company for decades and leading that specific group for half a dozen years or more. She was also an educator, a psychologist, and a very savvy observer of human behavior.

Unlike the previous group I had attended, Gloria's sessions rarely focused on food management tactics. She talked about why we might use food for more than sustenance. You know, the emotional side of eating and the numbing impact it can have, which is a critical aspect of addiction.

I'm amazed at how frequently I think about the lessons and insights she shared and how they've helped me in life and business throughout the years.

One night, Gloria talked about her "garbage pail" philosophy. She said, "You're not a garbage pail, so why are you behaving like one?"

She asked us if this thought or rationale sounded familiar: "I don't really want to eat this (or finish this), but if I don't, it'll end up in the garbage."

I don't know about you, but I grew up with parents who frequently invoked the people-are-starving-in-(fill in the country) guilt trip to get me to clean my plate as a kid.

My stomach or the garbage was a way of thinking with which I was intimately familiar.

The realization that I was choosing to throw away food into me rather than the garbage was a big "aha" moment. Why did I think that was okay? I'm not a garbage pail, so why was I treating myself like one?

I cannot tell you how often I think about this and ask myself, "In this situation, am I the garbage pail?"

I know it may sound weird, especially if you've never struggled with food issues, but wow, it's been powerful for me.

When I was in a partnership business, at a certain point, I realized, "Yes, I'm the garbage pail." Because I was eating a lot of trash my partner was throwing my way.
That's when I decided to leave.

When I was working with a client, who constantly complained, threatened to cancel our contract, and then wanted to renegotiate my fee, I blamed myself, working doubly hard to win back her trust until I realized, "Yup, I'm the garbage pail."
I fired that client the next day.

So, when I tell you that you are not a garbage pail, this is what I mean:

You don't deserve to suffer, to kowtow, to get less than in service of others, or so they can get more.

You don't deserve to eat costs or crow to win business or sales opportunities.

You don't deserve to bury your feelings, swallow your pride, put on a brave face, or dull your brilliance to make others look good, feel good, or shine a little brighter.

You deserve more than scraps and leftovers in all areas of your life.

You deserve as much—if not more than—you probably give yourself permission to strive for.

You are not a garbage pail, so make sure no one treats you like you are...including you.

P.S. In case you missed it, here's last week's Wake-up Call.

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