Last week, I shared some amazing feedback I received from my friend, colleague, and client about the lasting impact of my advice and example.
Honestly, I’m still riding that high!
So, this week I thought I’d share a piece of advice from one of my mentors that I still think about to this day.
Way, way back in the early days of my career, I wanted nothing more than to be a filmmaker. When I finally got my big break into television production and working on sets, hiring crew, and dealing with talent, I found myself in a pretty cut-throat environment, juggling a lot of egos.
One particularly frustrating day I felt unfairly torn down by someone who should have been a teammate and team player but clearly wasn’t. They took every chance they got to undermine me in front of the crew and our producers.
I hit a breaking point and stepped away from the set to supposedly get a cup of coffee but really I just needed to simmer down and quell my outrage and frustration.
Jen, one of our producers, followed me out.
In a light-hearted way she said, “Lauren, don’t let the bastards get you down or drag you under.”
She squeezed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, “I’m serious. Remember, they’re not you and they never will be, but you could very easily become them. And that’s what they’re hoping for.”
Wow, you could have bowled me right over.
How right she was. It would have been so easy for me to stoop to their level and tactics and betray my own values.
I grew up with two brothers, trust me when I tell you I do know how to fight and get dirty doing it.
Instead, I went back to work and figured out a few ways to neutralize my demeaning colleague and keep the smile on my face in my attitude and treatment of others
I only wish I had had Michelle Obama’s “when they go low, we go high.” Or Coach Friday Night Lights Taylor's pre-game chant, "Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose."
I have lost count of the number of times Jen’s words have replayed in my head over the long years since that day.
Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who will try to tear you down because they don’t see how to raise themselves up to your standards and values.
Don’t give into that basic instinct to fight fire with fire. You lose more than you win. Afterall, that's how bridges get burned.
I’m not saying don’t protect yourself or advocate for yourself.
Just do these things in a way that make sense to you and not simply in reaction to others’ behavior. You’ll not only be able to live with yourself, you’ll thank yourself for it in the long run.
And who knows, your grace under fire may end up being an example and inspiration to others as well as a very real reason they keep choosing you over the competition.
Until next week, remember when emotions run high, take the high road rather than the low. It may be more challenging but you can't beat the view.
P.S. — Check out some more tips on keeping your emotions in check to better serve you and your business.
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I help entrepreneurs leapfrog over the typical potholes that derail most small businesses with inspiration, motivation, education, and support across a wide range of business topics drawn from over a decade of running my own business, teaching entrepreneurship for the City of New York, and coaching and consulting privately with dozens of women and minority small business owners. Honestly, why go it alone when help is an email away?
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