Here's my take on being nice—It's a trap.

Being nice means I'm subverting who I am and/or what I want, think or believe simply to please others or ensure I don't insult, offend or challenge them. That means I'm not being honest.
And, then what happens when I actually want to show myself and speak up and out? I'm no longer being nice.

When people tell me I'm nice, I've learned to ask them why they think that, because given the choice, I'd much rather be thought of as kind than as nice.

Let's be honest, though, being kind is riskier than being nice.

As such, here are a few things I've taught myself to do to serve my kindness instincts rather than play it nice and safe:

• Check up on people—especially if they're having a hard time or dealing with a challenge—despite worrying they might think it intrusive.
• Letting someone know I'm here for them without offering solutions, even though I really want to problem solve.
• Sharing something whenever I think someone else might find it interesting, helpful, or even funny, even though that internal editor worries about what reaction it will illicit.
• Sending personal notes of thanks, congratulations, happy birthday, and best wishes as a means of acknowledging others, letting them know I care, I see them, and that they're important to me.
• Reminding myself in lots of different contexts that it's not about me and my worries and fears, but about showing up for others and being of service.

Perhaps because kindness is about doing things without expectation of getting something in return it's an amazing long-term success strategy that's often overlooked—it's hard to track and measure the return-on-investment (ROI).

But, that ROI does come—you won't know when or in what form it will show up, but hopefully it comes exactly when you need it most.
The thing to remember: Niceness, on its own merits, is fairly forgettable—it's a quality that describes more of an absence of something specific and meaningful.

Kindness, on the other hand, is deeply memorable and inspires like behavior in others.

Until next week, be well and be kind—to yourself, especially.